It's another lovely day in our peaceful coastal city. People are going about their day, walking their dog, buying groceries, taking their kids to the park, reading a novel at a street-side cafe. You know, like, "the good life". But, what's that dark shape on the edge of town. It's getting closer. And, bigger. And... a GIANT KAIJU has emerged out of the depths of the sea! Oh strife! It's destroying the city! Tragedy alive! It's about to unleash a blast of... plasma breath! We're doomed! ...achoo!...sniff sniff. What? Is that a tissue? Oh, hurrah, hurray! we have dodged disaster! Narrowly escaped extinction! We have- oh no! What's THAT?!?!?

Meet Gailo! He’s a Damey. A Damey is a kind of monster. You can call him Gailo Damey. Gailo Damey is a nice monster, but…he’s also kinda gross. Today, Gailo Damey made pancakes for his Mommo’s special birthday breakfast all by himself. And, even though he didn’t measure any of the ingredients, decided to include the egg shells, and made a total mess in the kitchen, Mommo Damey is still so happy. And, surprise, she wants to share a bite of her special, crunchy, and spicy (how is it spicy?) birthday pancakes with us. OK… just a tiny, tiny bite. How does it taste? Kinda gross.

We’re going to the symphony to see Rudolpho, the greatest conductor in the world. Mom got tickets. I wonder why people say he’s the greatest? Dad claims it’s because of cosmic vibrations. But, that can’t be right. When we got there, I asked the people waiting in line why they thought Rudolpho’s the greatest. Some said it was his proficiency with improvised batons. Others said it was his expert jungle survival skills. And, one grumpy old man was just surprised to find out he wasn’t in line for the rodeo. But, I gotta say, I think the last guy I asked nailed it.

The library’s new nighttime janitor’s first mistake was picking up the pile of picture books off the floor. His second was not believing in ghosts. Hopefully, the Janitor’s Handbook has the solution he needs to make amends with Edgar (and to clean ectoplasm off his shirt).

Listen, there’s a booger in this book. Well, actually, several. Oh, and there’s that one page that smells kinda weird. Other than that, I don’t know what else to tell you. Maybe just turn the pages by the edges? You should be fine. But I would totally wash your hands after.

Tradition states that Zoe, the eldest Claus kid, will be the next Santa. But, Zoe doesn’t want to be Santa. She wants to be a flying reindeer! With ingenuity and moxie, Zoe and her sister Holly work together to change their family’s tradition to fit those it’s passed on to.

They appear with a pop and disappear with a zip. Grandma says they’re Not Yetis. I don’t know what that means, but they sure helped me practice skateboarding. I finally landed a kickflip! They even helped Grandma with her tricky knitting stitch. And they’re cute too.

The Farmer just got in a shipment of the Guinea Fowls favorite food - mealworms. But, the word is, the Farmer is probably going to just feed them all to those lousy Chickens again. Well, The G. Fowls aren’t going to sit around on their feathers and let that happen. They’re going to steal them! The problem is, the mealworms are being kept in a super secret safe under the silo. For this to work, they’re going to have to pull off the Perfect Heist!. Good thing they have the perfect crew:  Zip and Zap (The Pantomiming Pickpockets), St. James (The Tech Wiz), Flo (The Physicist), Steve (The Muscle), Milroy (The Brain), and YOU (The Lookout). Don’t worry. They’ve got a foolproof plan. What could possibly go wrong?

This is not your typical picture book. In a typical picture book, the illustrator uses their imagination to make the pictures. But, this book is atypical. It’s your imagination that makes the pictures in this book appear. All you have to do is close your eyes and imagine what you want to see. When you turn the page, your picture will be there. It’s easy! And, it works perfectly every time. At least it has for me. So, I have no reason to believe anything strange, confusing, or funny would happen if you tried it. Go ahead! Why not start with something easy? Imagine a squirrel.

This parody of a holiday classic will leave you with those warm fuzzy feelings. You know, the kind you get from dealing with uninvited ape visitors who knit socks, scandalous squirrels sounds, and laughing until your tummy aches. "What's a Fonzie?" "Who's Marty Feldman?" Those are just a couple of the wonderful questions you're sure to enjoy answering when you read this to any child. So, buckle up, Merry Christmas, and what's that smell?